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A Long Time Coming

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Exactly what the title says. This post has been a long time coming. I cannot even count how many times I sat on this laptop trying to write about something. So many times I found myself uninspired typing whatever was in my head.
My shadow side so amplified, keeps coming back dissatisfied..
Since moving back home I feel that I am someone else. I don’t really know if it’s good or not as it’s a matter of perspective. The problem of being from a country and have lived in another for several years is that you always miss a home! While I was back in London I was missing my family and the Mediterranean weather like crazy. Now that I have everything and every one next to me, I feel like I am a half person. A half self. Can that be a real thing? I feel like on the 9th of November half of me and a huge part of my soul stayed back, in London but please don’t get me wrong. Everything came easy on us. I’m so, SO grateful for the apartment that we live in, the jobs that we get to do and love and the social life we did not get to have back in London.
Back then though, I was a photographer. I still am. That’s my identity and will be for as long as I live but, with a demanding full-time job and an industry not as big as in London, I find it difficult to create. I usually find inspiration wherever I look. I am like that. I tend to look for beauty in everything. But missing London has held me back of so many more things I could have achieved since coming back to Cyprus. An island that offers a beautiful corner at the end of every road. An island where content creation and ‘influencing’ is SO misunderstood.
Sea views while on holidays.
Since coming back it has been a non-stop everyday routine. From living with my parents for the first 3 months to moving our stuff into our new flat while trying to set up a new home for us. From being alone and a freelancer to being surrounded all the time by family and working full time as a Visual Merchandiser. It’s all so great but so overwhelming at the same time and believe me when I say I’m still adjusting.
This is a blog post on talking about self-reflection and direction I thought it would be useful to share some tips on what I learned throughout this period:
  • people walk in your life for a reason and walk out when it’s time to: I cannot stress out enough the importance of every person you have met either in a work environment or social meetings. Everyone influences you in a way so learn to listen and learn from them whether it’s for good or not.
  • trust the freaking timing of your life: ask the universe for whatever it is that you want and work hard. The rest will follow.
  • keep the negativity OUT: there is no space or time to be wasted on negative people. Get them out of your life. Don’t talk to them, Nah. Bye, Felicia, it’s been good. Appreciate yourself in a way that you don’t find it difficult to cut shit you do not deserve.
  • learn from your mistakes: just learn from your mistakes and don’t repeat them.
  • keep the people and family YOU WANT very close: because there is nothing sweeter than pure love in this life.
  • if you’re moving anytime soon JUST BE ORGANISED OK?
In these past 9 months, I have cried from laughter and sadness. I have missed friends that I didn’t even know I valued so much and not to lie, I am still going through an iD crisis. When will I be able to shoot again? Will I ever make my photography a full-time job? Can I do that? Do I remember how to shoot? Am I good enough? So what do I do? What about my online visual engagement? Will people view me in the same way as when I was back in London and smashing it? When will I be able to go travelling again? Will people ever stop asking me why the fuck I moved back? It’s not easy to explain! I don’t know where I’m going with my photography but I have a feeling that it will be fucking good. I will make it good. So if you see my face in front of the lens more now that’s because I am trying new things and one of them is being more present here on my blog.
Welcome to my new life.
Loads of love from Cyprus,
Your Maria x
 

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